Recently trends in family size have changed, with more people choosing to have only one child. According to Only Child, there are an estimated 20 million one-child households in the U.S. alone. For more than a century psychologists have speculated about the effects of being an only child, but there is still no conclusive answer. One thing that stands out is that the experience, although not necessarily negative, is certainly different to that of those with siblings.
Birth Order Theory
In the early twentieth century, Alfred Adler, founder of individual psychology, was the first to theorise that it is not just one’s parents that have a formative affect on psychology – it’s siblings as well. According to his theory of birth order,he argued that an only child grows up to be pampered. The other side of this coin is that if they are raised in an abusive home, they have to bear this alone, with unfortunate consequences. For more information on birth order, see How Birth Order Changes your Life.
One-Child Famiiles and Loneliness
It is often suggested that only children are deprived of necessary socialisation through the lack of siblings. According to Toni Falbo in Sibling Relationships: Their Nature and Significance Across the Lifespan (Lawrence Erlbaum, 1982), some studies show that only children have fewer friendships and are less socially involved.
However, studies have mixed results on the popularity of only children among their peers, with some showing higher popularity ratings. Other studies suggest that only children grow up to be less independent and solitary, as they are not 'weaned' from their parents' attention in the same way as those who have to compete with siblings.
Advantages in Intelligence and Achievement To Being an Only Child
On a global level, books such as ‘Maybe One’ by Bill McKibben (Anchor Books, 1999) argue that one-child families should be seen in the context of the planet’s troubling population explosion. Human beings cannot continue to reproduce without consideration for our planet’s wellbeing, which is seriously threatened by issues such as pollution and dwindling natural resources.
According to ERIC Digest The Only Child (1984), on an individual level, the following factors are often associated with only children:
- Intelligence: Only children, like first-borns, have been shown to have slightly higher intelligence scores than other children.
- Achievement: Levels of achievement appear to be higher, perhaps because the motivation to succeed is encouraged without a sibling to compete with.
However, these results could be explained in terms of the intellectual environment of an only child being more ‘enriched’, because of the focused attention they receive. This would not necessarily be the case in all families.
Support for Only Children and One-Child Families
Websites such as 'Only Child' and 'Being an Only' provide a forum for grown-up only children to discuss their experiences. Adult ‘onelies’ reveal that growing up as an only can mean a very intense relationship with their parents, even described as ‘suffocating’. The need for privacy can be stronger than in those from larger families, leading to problems in later intimate relationships. However, an only child on Being an Only website says that ‘many life long friendships have developed into my ‘sisters’ or ‘brothers’'.
As well as suggesting helpful resources for parents and children, 'Only Child' advocates for only children. They do this by correcting some of the common misunderstandings, such as that only children are always spoiled, selfish and socially deficient. Adult only children may need support with issues such as carrying the sole responsibility for the care of aging parents, an increasing problem in today’s society.
Hayley Nichols - I am a freelance writer of non-fiction as well as a fiction writer. Most of my work is published under my name 'Morgan Nichols'. I have a ...
